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Ok, another lesson learned.

 Just like firemen, goalies, doctors and relief pitchers, I can’t save ‘em all.

 Some paintings are like chalk squeaking across a chalkboard. 

They make my nose wrinkle like I took a whiff of sour milk.

They test my fragile confidence!

 I yank it off the easel in frustration only to be chastened by inner voices barking at me to NOT GIVE UP!

 So back on the easel it goes…and I make it worse! 

 Nuts!

 A painting I started weeks ago still taunts me. It’s been like a clog in my sink of artistic progress. I finally conceded defeat. So I replaced it with a blank canvas, and that very same day, started AND finished it. And I even like this one!

 This productive day gave my confidence a renewed sense of invincibility, so silly me, what do I do? I put the stinker painting back on the easel. Aha! Now that I’ve knocked out a new painting, the juices are flowing and I’ll know just what to do to fix this poor thing.

 I looked at it.

Studied it.

Looked at it in reverse in a mirror over my shoulder. 

Got close.

Backed away.

 And in the end, I yanked it back off the easel. I decided I didn’t even want it’s crummy mojo in the same room where I create my new masterpieces. So I tucked it under my arm and shlepped it down 2 flights of stairs to the dark basement, where the sad paintings live. Leaned it against the wall and turned around to go back upstairs.

 I was almost to the steps and I looked back. I paused. Hmmm. That part right there’s not so bad.  

 No! I’m not doing this again! I scampered up the stairs.

Still…maybe if I…No! Leave it alone!

 So of course 3 minutes later I went back downstairs and stared at it some more. If that painting had a throat I’m sure by now it was chuckling at me.

 Maybe if I can study it I’ll figure out how to fix it. No! You’ve wasted weeks on this one. Let It Go.

 It’s kind of sad when the biggest conflict in your life is the one you have with yourself. I can’t seem to just call it, and say Pat, it’s a wipeout. This is really the only time this has happened to me - at least to this degree. Thankfully. 

 But I think the biggest lesson I’m learning is not to persevere, not to never throw in the towel, but to acknowledge when you’re beaten! Walk away and keep your head up! Move on!

 I wish I could.

 What is wrong with me??