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Flawed.

Flaws.
We all have them.
We all choose to not see them at times.
I have one. Maybe two. :-)
If we’re honest with ourselves, we can first admit those flaws are there–and then assess what to do to fix them. But there’s not always an easy answer! Or, the fix is hard. Or, we try–and fail.
It’s human nature, no one’s perfect. No one should try to be perfect.
Being an artist exposes me to putting some of my shortcomings on full display. I’m not the best artist. Not every painting is an “A”. Some of them I struggle to finish because I’m not sure I can fix their flaws.
Regular readers of my blog might remember me writing about The Crap Zone. It seems every piece I do spends time here. It’s kind of like a penalty box for my art. Sometimes I can get it out of there quickly–others ride that bench for a while.
My latest piece is stuck there. It’s flawed, and while I have some ideas of what isn’t working, and even have some thoughts of how to fix it, I feel stalled.
My internal debate is: do I continue to muck around with it, no guarantees that the effort will pay off? Or do I relegate it to leaning against a wall in a dark corner of my studio, where eventually other paintings will lean up against it and I won’t have to be reminded that I failed this time?
Should I just move on to a fresh new canvas already? I don’t have a lot of free time or energy for painting to spare, so this is a valid argument.
And yet…that feels like cheating. Ignore it. Take the easy way out instead of trying to work through it. So of course my crappy little unfinished sailboat painting has now become a weird metaphor for my life, or so it seems as I’ve tossed and turned the last few sleepless nights with this piece in my mind’s eye.
I see that many artists will just paint over a canvas they don’t like. But as much as I’m struggling with this one, I can’t do that. That, to me, would definitely be giving up! And no matter what masterpiece I managed to paint on top of it, I'd always know what's beneath the surface.
So, I think, I’ll be gentle with myself. I’ll find a compromise. I’m going to take it off the easel, yes. But rather than stash it away on the floor somewhere, instead I’m keeping it on a window ledge at eye level. Where I can study it out of the corner of my eye.
Maybe I can’t fix it. Maybe I’ll decide it doesn’t need fixing. Maybe someone else will think it’s absolutely perfect just as it is and beg me to sell it, lol. But I won’t ignore it, and I already appreciate the darn thing for giving me pause for even more self-analysis.
Like I don’t do that enough already.
Here’s to being fearless about facing our own flaws. Onward!

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